There is a point in this video, starting at around the minute and half mark, where I literally thought I was about to have a seizure. Scenes blur and fade out, scenes blur and fade back in, the screen shakes, flips 180 degrees, zooms in and out about 47 times in a half second, blurs and fades again, cuts between shots of the video shoot and an open top bus, zooms in and out again, whilst at the same time the Kittens bounce around like toddlers on steroids. It all combines to make for a disorientating few minutes of viewing. In between bouts of massive epileptic fits, I managed to notice;
* The big kitten/bomb logo in the background which is clever because the name Atomic Kitten might have been lost on people if not for a great big graphic of a cat's head with a fuse on it.
* The dark haired one, who I believe to be called Liz, has a massive fucking mouth, and is a huge fan of doing a lot of weird shit with her hands when miming into camera.
* Kerry Katona looks so... healthy. A far cry from the podgy, drug-addled psychopath we now know and love.
Atomic Kitten released a couple more forgettable songs and a poorly-selling album before vanishing, presumably never to be seen again. BUT WAIT! In 2001, the Kittens returned and were now fully grown pussycats with less make up and a more mature sound. Most shocking of all was the video for 'Whole Again' in which the Kittens had developed the astonishing ability to both multiply and change their entire physical appearance!
As you can see, during the band's hiatus they perfected full body morphing, turning Kerry Katona into a taller, skinnier woman called Jenny Frost. To further confuse matters, a video was also filmed featuring Katona in her pre-morphed state which was shadily replaced with this one in the hope that no one would catch on to what was going on. For services to science alone, the Kittens deserved some sort of success with this effort, and by golly, they succeeded in getting success. This was one of the best selling songs of the decade, staying at number 1 for over a month and reviving the fortunes of the Kittens by briefly turning them into the biggest girl group in the country. Such a reversal in fortunes for the group sadly meant that their scientific endeavours had to be put to one side as they focused all their efforts on miming lyrics other people wrote in videos other people made them star in. Another hit single followed, a cover of 1980s classic 'Eternal Flame' which also hit the top spot in the UK. The success of these two singles led to the hasty re-release of their first album, with the new tracks tacked onto it somewhere.
A little while later, Atomic Kitten made a drastic failure of an attempt to crack America and released a new album and recorded a song with Kool & The Gang. After Natasha got herself pregnant and decided she wanted to spend more time with her child, the group all but ended, reuniting for the occasional charity event. They even released another single as recently as 2008, but no one gave a shit and it went pretty much unnoticed.
Since the break up of the group, Liz has been busy making a name for herself as a TV personality, appearing on Love Island, winning Celebrity Masterchef and presenting the extremely morally-questionable 'Hotter Than My Daughter', a charming concept in which a mother and daughter compete to be 'hotter' than each other. Natasha has mostly been busy popping out kids, but found the time to compete on 'Come Dine With Me' and appear in the musical 'Blood Brothers' in London.
Most famous of all ex-Kittens remains Kerry Katona. Contrary to what I said earlier, she was not morphed into Jenny Frost. She left the group in 2001 due to pregnancy, before embarking on the most tragicomic existence imaginable. After marrying and divorcing Westlife's Bryan McFadden (who left her for Australian warbler Delta Goodrem) she won a series of 'I'm a Celebrity, Get Me Out Of Here', before seemingly going utterly bonkers, starring in a series of reality TV shows for MTV which documented her marriage to some odious money-grabbing prick.
So, what attracted you to this wealthy, big-tittied lady?
Other highlights included becoming the face of supermarket chain Iceland (until they dropped her after she was filmed snorting cocaine in her bathroom), appearing on TV at 10.30am clearly off her face and unable to string 2 words together, being denied the chance to be on Celebrity Big Brother because the producers thought/knew she was batshit crazy, getting robbed at knifepoint in her own home, drinking and smoking while pregnant and attacking her accountant after he told her she was bankrupt. Recently, Kerry has been all over those awful celebrity gossip magazines, wearing some ridiculously skimpy swimsuit whilst claiming for the 14th time that her problems are behind her and how much she loves her new slim figure, because y'know, being thin is the key to all eternal bliss.
"Come on baby, give me vodka right now/Give it to me quickly..."
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